"What costs nothing is also nothing" - as one would say in German culture. How much something costs is directly linked to the value of the good. And that's very subjective. For one person, the good is worth a lot and he / she is willing to pay a high price, for others not. In relation to ourselves, the question arises: how much are we worth to ourselves? How much are we willig to pay our own "costs" for our personal "goods"? What does a smile cost us? What does love cost us? When it comes to handling material goods, we all have a common compromise: money. This is redistributed for goods and services according to a general consensus.
But what about the "currency" for our personal principles? What do we want to get as "countervalue" if we provide our "performance", e.g. our love? And that's where the problem begins, because one of them demands more for his “performance” than the other. How could you come to a consensus here? Quite simply: As with money - you negotiate. Many people don't trust themselves to negotiate with money because they feel insecure - and this is "only" about money. So how insecure do many people feel when it comes to real feelings? And how bad will the negotiations be then? Even with ourselves! How often do we make compromises with ourselves in order to be annoyed afterwards that we didn't do it the way we wanted to. And with the knowledge that our brain is a “drug addict”, addicted to feelings of happiness in the form of dopamine and serotonin, it is constantly on the lookout for quick happiness without using the mind, which is essential in a good negotiation. How should one correctly estimate the "costs" without a mind? It is like a 3 year old child who wants to buy a car for $10. Sometimes you have to invest a lot to make a big profit. And that could sometimes cost a lot. But if we only save in our lives, we can ultimately say that we have never been disappointed. Unfortunately, then there is probably no one left to tell about!
When it comes to our feelings, our costs are our fears of the pain we experience when we have been disappointed. And everyone has to decide for himself how much he/she is willing to pay - "What costs nothing is also nothing"!